DAY 5: Curacaou and The Hideous Effects That Time Has On Taxidermy
Mood:  loud
The ship vibrates whenever it docks, apparently. It pulled into Curacao at 7:30 AM so we had time for breakfast before the shore excursion, because I certainly am not sleeping while the ship is vibrating.

I had an omelet this morning. It was pretty darn good! I might have another one tomorrow.

Well, so much for the shore excursion. I went down to join the tour and couldn't locate my drivers license. When I couldn't find it after one pass through the room, I sent Amy her ticket with the tour guide and went back onto the ship. She says I didn't miss much, apparently the most memorable part of the whole thing was being bitten by fire ants.

I went into Curacao on my own once I found my license (still in with the stuff I took to Castaway Cay). Amy says the place looks like the next DVC resort. This is because the shopping district is made up of all these little skinny buildings all painted different primary colors. Amy's tour had this story about the island's first Dutch governor ordering the owners of the buildings to paint them any color but white, and it turns out he was also selling paint or in charge of the paint factory or something like that.

You get off the ship - they have a banner over the dock area welcoming the Disney Cruise Line - and to get to the shopping area you have to walk across this floating bridge that is sort of a reverse drawbridge - instead of opening upward, it swings open to allow ships to pass. If you're on the bridge when they decide to open it, then you stay on the bridge until they decide to close it.

I went into town for a bit looking around the stores before it got way too hot and humid and I went back to the ship for a bit. Afterward, having decided where to go purchase things, I went back to town. I bought the ubiquitous tee shirt and magnet, and some little Curacao liqueur bottles in rum raisin, chocolate and coffee. I will need to find someone to take the coffee off my hands. I bought a little embroidered bag to carry around my ship card in, so I don't have to carry a big bag to the dining room whenever I wear a dress that doesn't have pockets.

I took all my stuff back to the ship and met up with Amy. We decided to go downstairs and check out the Animators Palate menu to see if they'd posted dinner yet. They had, but somewhere in the appetizer section, instead of writing what they intended to be "essence of lychee" they wrote "essence of leeches." This had us rolling around the floor for awhile. We took our cameras and took photographs of the menu. Later on we went around to the other restaurants once they'd put their dinner menus up,and they all said "essence of leeches."

I went up myself to Topsiders for lunch. They had a satay station and made a big plate of fried rice and chicken satay for me. That was a good thing, because the menu was Taste of the Netherlands, which was probably more like the Akershus Menu because it was mostly pickled fish of various sorts.

I went to sit by the pool for awhile before the ship left port. I was back down in the cabin by the time we sailed. Jeff had activated his bubble machine. They're one deck up from us and the bubbles all blew into our porthole. There were large numbers of people waving to the ship as they backed it away from the dock. They must have blown that damn horn about six times before we pulled away from the island. We're the Disney ship, worship us.

Amy and I dressed for dinner (tropical night) and went to the Walt Disney Theater to see Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I think at many spots in the film we were the only two people laughing.

After the film we went to a show that sort of but not really approximates the Balderdash Cup show. They have three characters who make up a definition for a word and the contestants have to guess who's telling the correct definition and who's lying. One of the fake definitions was something about time's effect on taxidermy, which can make a bear look like a pug dog. Yikes.

At dinner (we're in Lumiere's tonight) we gave the server, Silvio, a hard time about the leeches on the menu. Amazingly, they'd changed all the menus. The ones outside had "lychee" spelled correctly, but the inside ones didn't - they spelled it "lyches." Silvio didn't understand what a leech was, we had to explain it to him.

We went with Jen and Jeff to the deck party for awhile, but didn't stay too long. When we got back to the room we had the navigator, which says that there are now two times for the Pirates of the Caribbean imagineering presentation tomorrow. Jen called so we could coordinate which one to go to (we're going to the 9:30). They're also opening up the Oceaneers Club (kids club) to adults tomorrow night! We'll probably all be in there playing video games until Lord knows when. I hope they're serving drinks, I'd like to be able to say I had drinks in the kids club.

DAY 4: Still at sea.
Mood:  a-ok
Something bit the dickens out of my foot on Castaway Cay and it's beginning to really itch horribly. The OTC cortisone stuff isn't doing it.

Disney decided for some unfathomable reason (probably just to get the whole thing over with) to release all the limited edition pins for the cruise at the same time this morning. Some people who are really into pins camped out in the hallway overnight so they'd be first in line for pins. It worked, some of the campers we know got their pins.

I'm not so sure about our towel animals this cruise. The first one looked like a sea slug, the second was probably a scorpion, and the one we got tonight is a lizard that looks as if it was just hit by a car. I think we're moving up the species ladder. Tomorrow night we might even get a mammal.

Had breakfast at Topsiders and tried to go on the internet. The entire internet room went down at once and I wasn't able to log out. I've been on the computer all day. Thank goodness for unlimited access.

Amy and I went to the 10:45 Imagineering presentation on the Haunted Mansion attraction. The imagineer's name was Jason Surrell and he knows his stuff. He has good delivery, too. Scott and Lynn were there and Scott brought up that we should move our Palo brunch on Thursday so we'd be able to go to his Pirates of the Caribbean presentation.

The presentation had lots of photos and concept art, and some really funny old footage of the Osmonds and Kurt Russell riding the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. All the Osmonds wore matching shirts. Ugh.

We missed the murder mystery, since this presentation went on past the meeting time for that and we definitely weren't leaving.

Afterward Amy and I had some lunch at Topsiders, not much, just a bit of stuff. There was a lot of down time after lunch. I read a book in the stateroom.

We got a murder mystery clue slipped under our door. It was labeled "clue 4" but we don't know what happened to clues 1 through 3. They were probably given out at the meeting, which we missed.

We left Jen and Jeff a note about moving the brunch. They got it moved to Saturday. I was going to the Palo tea this afternoon. Amy decided she'd rather go to an improv workshop. We had tea in the big private room. It seems like an excuse to eat lots of dessert in the middle of the day. I think the Grand Floridian tea is better.

Our tablemates were all eating at Palo tonight. Amy and I ate at Parrot Cay by ourselves. They had some show interlude where a Carmen Miranda clone danced with Chip and Dale and we were supposed to wave little maracas. We were too busy doing Adventurers Club songs that involve maracas. We got extra maracas for the tablemates and left them at their cabin doors.

Tomorrow the ship's theater is showing Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy! Yes yes yes! We now have a full evening of stuff to do after we get back from Curacao.

Now, I hear there's a tropical storm headed across Mexico and Guatemala. Its name is Adrian. I took this cruise in May to avoid these freakin storms. It looks as though we will not meet up with Adrian as he is moving in the opposite direction across Mexico.

DAY 3: Wendy is my boyfriend...er, girlfriend
Mood:  energetic
Last night we got a message on the cabin phone that said our May 27 wine tasting had been changed to a tequila tasting. This isn't anything that interests Amy, so we go downstairs to change hers to a martini tasting. I didn't change mine, but I also signed up for the martini tasting.

First thing we did was go to the murder mystery. We saw the characters introduced and signed up to play the game, although the characters didn't like to use microphones and had to be reminded in many off the cuff lines and remarks by another player (who really very seriously reminded us of someone). This show was hysterical, probably because it iddn't work the way it was supposed to. One character was asked about another character, a simple enough question, "What is Wendy to you?" The response was "Wendy is my boyfriend...er, girlfriend." That either doesn't say much about Wendy, or the performer has just outed himself.

We were told to keep an eye out for clues on the ship, but haven't seen any except for a character named Ira running down the hall. We think a character named Ben is going to get it, although the fact that his name is "Ben Dead" kind of gave that one away.

We wandered around the ship. We went to the buffet for lunch, which was really decent food. We then went to a mixology course - a guy showed us how to make a few cocktails, then another guy carved melons into flowers. We didn't care, we had free drinks.

I had the DVC meeting at 3, in which I got another red hat but didn't win any door prizes. There seems to be some sort of deal where if you sign up to buy more points they'll give you 100 points at your former home resort. My former home resort is very very popular and it might be worth checking out to resell the points if nothing else.

We have the DISBOARDS wine party at 4:30, at which we were informed that a lot of the group didn't even get the cabin change we had when we upgraded so all our stuff was being delivered to some poor unsuspecting people's Category 8 while we were sitting on our verandah. I am talking to Jeff and Jen about getting stuff that belonged to the people in the cabin across from theirs, who never showed up. They might have some stuff we never got.

Tonight was formal night, we had to get dressed after drinking all that wine. We ran into Margaret and talked to her for awhile, and I said I would go to the spa with her tomorrow, but there's a presentation about the Haunted Mansion and I really have to go to that instead. I will have to call her and beg off.

We saw the Golden Mickeys show. Best part was Tarzan's loincloth. It took them awhile to do anything from the Lion King.

Dinner was in the Animators Palate restaurant. They didn't do their show thing, they just showed cartoons on the screens. I had fish again. Jen and I drank too much, but what else is new. The ricotta creme brulee was really good. Then we watched them drop confetti and balloons into the atrium for the Golden Mickeys "premiere." Scott and Lynn went to see that with us.

When we got back to our cabin we had one, count it, one, commemorative book about the Panama Canal. Amy went down to guest relations to try and get another one. She came back carrying it. Damn, it took me two days to get the freakin blanket. We'll have to see what else we get that we have to beg for one more of. She seems to be really good at the begging part.

Tomorrow I believe we're still at sea. We had a phone message from the murder mystery detective, so we need to report to the bar tomorrow for more clues. We'll see how that one goes.

DAY 2, CASTAWAY CAY: Who put a quarter in the ship?
Mood:  cool
Here's the problem with an aft cabin.

They back the ship into Castaway Cay (hey, I should just be glad we're actually GOING there after missing it on my last cruise.) When they're backing the ship up, the engines vibrate. So does our stateroom. So does my bed. I'm getting up early whether I like it or not. At least the thing doesn't beep when it's backing up.

Breakfast is a banana from Topsiders and Diet Coke. Amy and I have sworn that for this cruise we will not use the elevators (unless we're wearing really high heels) so my routine is this: Walk up to Deck Nine for the Diet Coke and the banana, walk around deck ten to check out Castaway Cay from the ship, and walk down to deck three to pick up some more of the documents that I've apparently been dropping all over the ship. While there I inquire into whether I can have a Castaway Club blanket (there's only one per stateroom and it had Amy's name on it) and the answer is NO. I've lodged a protest. The gal at the desk who had to deal with me (no, I didn't yell at her) filled out another form with my name and stateroom number on it. It said something about amenity concerns. At least they have a form for that.

It may be awhile before I can post about Castaway Cay. Check back later.

I did get a blanket. Our poor cabin steward delivered it after Amy went to the ventriloquist show at the theater. He knocked on the door and yelled "housekeeping" so I thought he was there to turn the beds down and empty the trash or whatever else he does. I open the door and there he is with the freakin' blanket. I had to sign for the blanket.

Dinner was okay, I had some cod with bread on it. It was actually good. The sauce was the best part. The Grand Marnier souffle was good, and we were happy with fried Camembert.

Amy and I went to this place they call Rockin' Bar D to see a comedian who made me miss the Adventurers Club terribly. Then we went back up to our room to find out we'd been left a towel scorpion. I swear, last night's was a sea slug. We're going to see what sort of lower form of life turns up in our room tomorrow.

Day At Sea tomorrow. What else could happen?

Embarkation Day: Sheer Unvarnished Drama
Mood:  accident prone
Amy and I went to Boatwrights for breakfast. We had the sweet potato cakes and I had a cajun bloody mary. I had to. I really freakin had to.

We went back to the room and our suitcases were still there....although they were supposed to be picked up by the cruise luggage people by 10. It was now 10:30. So, we went to see the cruise dude, who said they'd actually written down our room number wrong! Go figure.

So he said they'd send someone for our luggage. Then he started to check us in.

I started filling out my immigration form and went into my bag to get my passport number for the form. Guess what? No passport. I forgot it. The most important thing I was supposed to bring along and I forgot it. I have, however, a copy of it - but it's in my suitcase, which by now has been picked up by the luggage people. Fortunately it's still sitting out on the sidewalk, so I got it out of there.

The cruise dude uses my copy to fill out the form. He says I can get by with my drivers license, although it might take me longer to get off the ship. Okay, that's fine.

Amy and I met Liz and Bill from the disboards in the POFQ lobby. We talked until the cruise dude finally put us on a bus. Funny, they didn't put Liz and Bill on the bus, because it was mostly already full. They had to wait for another bus.

We had a bus that sounded like it was going to give up the ghost every time it slowed down. Finally it actually pulls up to the cruise terminal. Here's the boat I'm going to spend 14 freaking days on. At least it's a big boat.

We went to check in and the guy at the desk tries to pull the passport thing on me again, as in "She can go, but you'll have to stay home." Then he offered to accompany Amy. He gave me a form to fill out where I basically had to swear that I was born in Massachusetts. Okay. I can swear to that although I don't really remember it.

We checked out our stateroom. Our steward's name is Narciso. I think he's from the Philippines. We found him as soon as we could and asked him to separate the big bed in the cabin into twins. That way we can leave the couch a couch, and we'll have a place to hide from each other (especially for Amy, who wakes up earlier than I do).

We went to Topsiders for some lunch, where we got the idea to call Jen and tell her our bus broke down and they were holding the ship for us. Amy did the call. She started laughing in the middle of it, so she said she was upset. I think Jen thought we were actually delayed. I couldn't have pulled this one off, I'm a terrible liar.

We went to sign up for some wine tastings and then to Deck 9 to meet the disboarders. 9/10ths of them were wearing my shirt. I should have autographed all their chests.

I was not wearing the shirt...it's in the suitcase and I'll wear it on the day we arrive in California.

We did the lifeboat drill, which for us was in Animators Palate without a lifeboat in sight. Our lifeboat drill table mates put up with our bad jokes, which was all we could do after being strapped into orange life preservers which, when you take your head out of them and stand them upright, look like Gumby on steroids.

I went to the sailaway party. The what? Oh yeah, the sailaway party which was supposed to commemorate sailing away at 5 pm. That turned into 5:30, which is difficult when you're holding a banner against the side of the deck railing. Ouch.

Finally a solitary luggage truck drives up to the dock, they unload a grand total of no more than 10 pieces of luggage, haul them in fast motion onto the ship, and finally cast off. Yikes.

Then I had to go through losing the copy of my passport, which apparently I dropped in the atrium. I didn't know this until I spoke to Nathan at Guest Services. Nathan said the documents had been found and were returned to me. Oh yeah? Neither of us saw any documents. Turns out they got delivered to the wrong stateroom, which returned them to Guest Services, and Nathan called and said he was sending them back up to the RIGHT stateroom. Sure enough, a woman showed up with them right after Nathan hung up.

We were just in time after that to go to dinner at Parrot Cay. Our tablemates, previously arranged, are Jeff and Jen, who we've known for years, and Scott and Lynn, who Jeff and Jen know and I think Amy met once, and I've just now met them. I think we'll get along. I had swordfish and managed to guilt Jeff out of some extra prosciutto. I had chocolate truffle cake for dessert. All was good.

Our server is Silvio from Chile. Our assistant server is really nice but I don't remember her name. The headwaiter is Maclean, as in Maclean Stevenson. Okay, whatever.

Tomorrow is Castaway Cay, which of course I've never seen even though I've been on this ship before, but that is another story.

Departure Day
Mood:  celebratory
Today is the departure date for the long-awaited but somewhat dreaded 14-day Panama Canal cruise.

The elevator in my condo is still broken, so I have to haul my two wheeled suitcases down the stairs one at a time. I also have a duffle bag ("the yellow bag") and a backpack wih my laptop in it , my selection of DVDs and all my electronic cords, rechargers, and other fun items.

My dad picked me up at noon to drive me to Dulles for my 2:30 flight on Ted (that's United with an inferiority complex). I checked the 2 wheeled suitcases and went to the gate, which at Dulles means to go through security (no lines for once) and ride to the satellite terminal in an ancient buslike vehicle that looks like something Darth Vader would use to transport his cloned stormtroopers and is about as comfortable.

So I get to the gate, and the flight is delayed until 3. No big thing. I watch about half a Star Trek episode on my laptop before they do two things: 1) change the gate and 2) delay the flight to 3:45. I packed up, switched gates and watched another Star Trek episode before the plane even arrived.

We get on the plane and the pilot announces that the first flight on this route hit a bird taking off from Orlando and had to turn back and get a new plane, such is the reason for the delay.

The plane landed around 4:30 in Orlando. Jeff and Jen picked me up at the airport, took me to Port Orleans to find Amy and dropped off my luggage. The four of us went over to Downtown Disney to meet our friends Bruce and Marta and have some dinner at Wolfgang Puck's.

We waited about 45 minutes for a table. Friday night the place is a zoo. The children's menu features a game: "Make as many three or four letter words as you can from the letters in 'Wolfgang Puck.' Okay, really, you've got to be kidding. Nobody's thinking about "wolf" and "gang."

Amy and I ended up leaving everybody waiting for the check (we left money) so we could make the Balderdash Cup show at the Adventurers Club. (The show was worth it. Not only that, but our dinner companions made it over to the club before it started, so we all got to see it.) Jeff and Jen left after the show, and Bruce and Marta stayed for the radiothon before leaving. Amy and I need our club fix before 14 days on a ship going to California, so we stayed until the Hoopla ended.

Tomorrow is the embarkation day.

1 day until departure
Mood:  d'oh
Work is finito.

Everybody there wishes they were coming along. My boss says when I get to Mexico I shouldn't drink the water. I'm not, I'm going straight for the tequila.

I'm armed with all kinds of addresses and phone numbers for consulates and U.S. government approved medical providers if needed.

No news about United. I think they're still in court. I hope the judge puts them off until next week. I really badly need my club fix tomorrow night.

I have a backup plan, though - it's called Independence Air. It'll get me there in more than enough time, but it'll cost me.

Both suitcases are closed and sitting in the living room. I will have to get them out the door tomorrow. The folks are coming at 12 noon to get me. They will take me to the airport and dump me, and I will get the bags to the aforementioned dreaded United Airlines (which is calling itself "Ted" as if it thinks I won't recognize it as United). I won't relax until I have them back in Orlando.

I still have the yellow duffle and the backpack out. My laptop will be the last thing to go in and I need to make sure I turn the wireless off. I have one pocket on the duffel full of antidiarrheal and sinus drugs.

I have one more bill to pay and that'll be it for the next couple of weeks.

I got permission to erase Jack's Ipod and now it's got 47 of MY songs on it (the entire content of my Itunes library minus the Christmas songs - I do not need Christmas songs on a cruise in May). Sorry, bro. Hope your coworker can put the Rolling Stones back on there. I would have left them on if I could.

Stay tuned for the list of Things Catherine Forgot To Pack.

2 days until departure
Mood:  irritated
There's lots of cliches to use today but I am sticking with the good news/bad news one.

Good: Jen and Jeff offered to pick me up at the airport and then we'll go to Wolfgang Puck's for sushi, then to the club. Cool.

Bad: Yesterday a federal judge cleared the way for United Airlines to discontinue its employee pensions. They're pissed off and threatening strikes. So, United could go on strike anytime, and I have a flight on Ted to Orlando on Friday afternoon. Yeah, it's my cruise flight.

My coworkers keep bringing up Friday the 13th.

I can book a replacement flight on Independence Air for $180 (for the one way trip) assuming they're still available tomorrow or Friday morning, should problems arise with United. Fortunately I did take leave from work for all of Friday.

I rearranged the luggage to bring my yellow duffle bag, so that's 3 bags and the backpack. I will check the two suitcases and carry the backpack (which does not leave my sight because it has the good stuff in it) and the duffle.

I went to Barnes & Noble on lunch break and picked up a Cranium Hoopla game. Besides the name, it's a good size for traveling and looks like it might be fun, especially after a few drinks. This is assuming United doesn't misplace my luggage accidentally on purpose.

Somebody posted the movie list for the flight. Geez, the movies suck. No Hitchhikers Guide? What's up with that?

4 days until departure
Mood:  bright
This is my last regular day off before the cruise date.

I bought the rest of the stuff I was looking for. There will be a trip to the drugstore at work since the drugstore in DC sells a large economy size box of Sudafed. Then, I will be done.

I got my hair trimmed and it's been layered a bit (not much). It's ready to go.

The big suitcase is closed and it's looking distended, like it ate way too much. Most of that is because of the dresses, which went in last and had to be folded over. They're going to be a mess when they come out of there.

I bought more shoes. Okay, they were only 9.99. But they have to go on the cruise, so they're in the smaller suitcase.

I'm working on avoiding Magical Express.

Jen seems happy over our Palo reservation. At least it won't be just Amy and me at a table for 6.

My smaller DVD player won't charge its battery, so it's staying home and I will be using the laptop alone. I was worried about what happens when the laptop battery dies on the flight home from California, but I'm flying on Jet Blue and they apparently have television.

The pirate name cards are a royal pain! I have about half of them done. I have no idea how I'm going to get them distributed. I'll have to wing it.

And I'm almost forgetting that I have to pack Project X. I think they're going to end up hitching a ride in my backpack with all the electronic stuff.

5 days until departure
Mood:  rushed
Jack (my brother) loaned me an Ipod Shuffle to take along on the cruise. Problem is, he's already got stuff on it, and the Ipod Shuffle doesn't allow new songs to be added from a different computer. I would have to erase everything he's got on there and replace it with mine. I will call him tomorrow and see if it's okay to do that; he can just put his own stuff back on there when I return it. If not I will be listening to Jack's music. Fortunately I like the Who and the Rolling Stones.

The folks offered a ride to the airport on Friday and I need to tell them when I'm coming home on the 30th, so they can pick me up at Dulles. It's a holiday, so they won't have to worry about traffic.

I have been doing laundry all day except for attending a combination Mothers Day/Dad's Birthday thing and watching Harry Potter with my nephews. Amy made me feel guilty about bringing too few bras.

Tomorrow I hope to close the big suitcase.

I'm checking on just how terrible Magical Express is. I may not be able to use it if they're not going to deliver the luggage on time, and will have to take a cab or something to POFQ on Friday evening.